Tuesday, 18 May 2010

My first blog.

Hello to my blog. I’m a little confused by blogging. I do occasionally get confused! Shocking, I know ;) I keep writing the first line and deleting it. I was speaking to a friend and I said to her, “everything I write sounds so serious, I don’t want to depress the world!” So, it got me thinking about the type of blog I wanted to write and came to the conclusion I can only write about my world. I have ME, a long term, debilitating illness that has greatly altered the course of my life, but that’s not all I am. For instance, I love dance with a passion, I love cheesy ballads that make you cry and make you think you’re falling in love when you listen to them (What, just me that feels that? Damn!), I love the sun and how it makes you smile, I love my cats even when they bring me live worms, I love travelling (if only in my head) and I love cheeky jokes that make you laugh-to name but a few things. But, I’ve also found my life extremely hard at times. The constant pain, loneliness and isolation I experience due to my ME can leave me feeling breathless. ME, by nature, can leave you too ill to see people or even talk. I was too ill to see anyone outside my immediate family or use a computer for over ten years, give or take the odd 10 min chat once or twice a year. If I’m being honest, I’ve found it extremely hard. After all, I am a chatterbox at heart! Again, shocking, I know. So, how can I cut all that out of my blog, too? That’s who I am, who I’ve been. But how can I talk about it without sounding like I‘m trying to play my oh so out of tune violin? I decided it’s not about depressing anyone, it’s about talking about my life. My ups, my downs. The laughter, the achievements and even the tears. And my ME did improve to the point where I could do more things and I made some great friends online that helped me to laugh again and I should shout a little joy from the rooftops about that! So, this is just me, Dani, and my life, OutOfFocus. But sometimes the blur can be a little bit beautiful! The simple days, the happy days, the days of hope. So, I hope to start blogging and keep it up. I hope. Bye for now.